What's 'da Joke?

[HaloWarLord711]

playing Black Ops with mature people
duck you character limit

[Magnus]

Playing most Halo with sane people.

[bov930527]

Most of (every single) forums I've been on have a thread where people can post jokes. Usually there's someone who posted a really good joke that makes me laugh. These threads most usually never die because people want to share the sheer happiness when they find a brilliant anecdote. But I now understand why such a thread could never survive in this community...

But anyways. I found couple of these one and thought they were pretty good. Requieres a certain amount of brain activity though...

"Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop."


And this one is good for male audience (no offence to ladies).

"A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.” The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, ”Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times of it!” The woman said, “That’s okay.”

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will folk to”. The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.” So, KAZAM- she’s the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. ” The woman said, “That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.”

So, KAZAM- she’s the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, “I’d like to have a mild heart attack.”

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them."


And these are actually real student evaluation cards that were handed out by some american teacher some years ago (I read about it in high school during my English class).

"Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"I would not allow this student to breed."

"The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

"If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

:D

[Fleischgeruch]

Bahahahaha nice ones, bov. I don't get the cutting vegetables one though. :(
I'm not surprised those are real evaluation cards. My chemistry teacher tells us almost every lesson that we are plants and chemicals that don't do anything :|. But we get used to it heheh.

[ChaosTLW]

I didnt understood the last evaluation card.

[Falcon]

Haha these are pretty funny! Sadly Im not funny.. ;-;