by TheVirgo » Tue May 08, 2012 5:24 am
The story so far, with some altercations to make everything fit together properly:
Once upon a time in the magical land of Ace of Spades there was a player called xXxRamboSlayer5656xXx, a complete deuce at the game, who screamed B@N TEH NO0BR H@XR whenever he got killed. But then, when he went to play Ace of Spades one day, he noticed that he was actually playing MW3! (CoD deuce.) Then he screamed B@N T3H N00BR H@XR on a CoD server after getting killed once. Then, he dug himself into a hole and committed suicide because he was constantly bullied by a bunch of emo kids. Afterwards, his Brother, Mother, Father, Sister, Aunt, Uncle, Grandmother, Grandfather, Great Grandmother, Great Grandfather, Nephew, Niece, Cousin and Dog decided to die in a hole with him.
Once they died, xXxRamboSlayer5656xXx's second cousin on his mother's sister's son's side decided to go traveling. Then she fell in a hole and died. However, his other second cousin on his mother's sister's son's side decided to go traveling and he stopped for beer. He got involved in a bar brawl, in which he emerged the victor. Then he slipped on someone's head and fell into a hole. where he died. Or, at least, that's what everybody THOUGHT! In reality, it was actually a completely true statement. Because he died. In a hole. Alone.
Then, the city planner woke up from his nightmare and decided to fill up all the holes in the county. Once that was done He died. on a hill. Alone. Then the alien woke up from his nightmare and went to look outside on his completely safe planet where he was immortal and could never die. He pinched himself to realize no more dreams then he saw an alien named Altoids and worked on an invention to make people incapable of dying. BUT NO! He found a ray gun and destroyed the planet Mars and then the angry Martians came down to Earth and started a genocidal war, spanning over a century.
The Earth people, pleading in misery, ran to the nearest farm, where their secret weapons were: Cows. Commander Deucer was in charge of leading the main forces to attack, which was to set up the cow poop artillery for support and use their cow poop guns to hold off the attacks, while Chuck Poopis and Rampoo were leading the attacks on their flanks. The battle smelled, literally. The martians were strong, but the smell that the cow poop artillery made was too strong... Deucer knew this battle would soon end and ordered McDeuce112 and DAFAQ to lead small amounts of calf infantry. Oh, the battle was glorious! Then, after the battle had been raging for 2 days, Deucer, DAFAQ and Chuck Poopis had reached the hole ! The hole is a place where the martians were digging to the core of the earth to cause the planet to implode ! Because Deucer was enraged he preformed a "This Is Sparta !!!" kick.
Then ... the war ended. Sadly McDeuce112 and Rampoo did not make it, but their sacrifice would never be forgotten. Deucer, DAFAQ and Chuck Poopis drank home made cow beer and celebrated the victory remembering the price that they paid. But they knew ... It was not over!
The Martians flooded back to Mars, popped open some Martian Vodka and celebrated. That is, until they saw him again. That strange Alien Altoids pulled out his Raygun and pulled the trigger on Pvt. Derpaderp. He ran away as quick as he could, hopped in his spaceship and blasted far out past Uranus. The Martians were furious! They called the Immortal alien to chase him down. The real test to see if he was immortal! Then he fell off the planet and fell in the black hole. Than rotted for all eternity. But, HE HAD A SON AND HE CONQUERED EVERY THING IN SIGHT!! EVEN THE IMMORTAL ALIEN BOWED TO HIM!!!!! Then I dropped a nuclear bomb in every square kilometer and blew up every thing in the galaxy. END OF STORY!
Until a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, lived a Poopi named Luke Skyfacker! He was a mighty poopi, a bit reckless though, but that didn't stop him from stopping the sinners! He launched a massive attack on the planet Sinpoop and englufed it in poop! Then, more nuclear bombs. End of story. Then, after the end, there was a beginning ...
It has been said that if you give monkeys until infinity, they will write the complete works of Shakespeare. I imagine that this is what you would get after 200 years. :-|
